Quote:
Originally Posted by Boater
Hello,
Just like to say that it doesn't really matter who did what to whom, but rather how you deal with it. The blame game, irrespective of where you place blame, is futile and will not improve your situation.
Please understand that I do not wish to make you upset, rather stress the now and the future, which are the only places where you can feel good. What is done is done. If you can find it in you to like yourself enough to want more from life, you can move on. A walk on a lovely autumn day?
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I am not so much looking to blame, but attempting to find the sources of the things that are ruining my life. Otherwise I am trying to fix a problem without knowing what the problem truly is or from where it stems. Why do I eat emotionally, why do I have unrealistic fears, why do I feel dread every time the phone rings, why can't I be happy with my accomplishments, why do minor mistakes cause me to shut down completely, why does praise actually make me feel worse about myself, etc, etc, etc.? Yes, I'm trying to work on these things, but without searching for where the problems come from, trying to correct them does not feel honest to me.
I am already feeling a huge weight lifted as I realize that so many of the things holding me back were already firmly in place before age 10. I have realized recently that my adult life has been a gradual process of unlearning many of the things that I was taught by my parents which have been holding me back from obtaining the life I wish to have. I am also just now beginning to realize that my desire to please my parents and family (an act which is impossible) is one of the things keeping me from improving my current situation.