All my sexual relationships had been very very bad. I won't say traumatic as I was very much aware of what I was getting into, but I always felt dirty and used. But, with this there was another reality about me, I never had thought about sex or even felt need for one. The act was conducted only to please other side who were always the initiators.
Before your traumatic experiences what were your thoughts about sex? I still fear sex because of my experiences but I also know that even before my first intimate experience I never wanted or thought about it. And all my relationships were always initiated by other side. This helped me, may be helps you too.