I decided I am going to allow my self to be angry, at least for a few days. I think after 39-45 vials of blood being taken, endless panic attacks, loss of friends over my illness, and just pure frustration that I deserve some time to be annoyed and hate my body. And then move on.

As for it being temporary; it's not. My doctor has been going over charts from when I was 13. The first clue in should have been me having strep throat twice a month which resulted in my tonsils being removed. My joint pain has been here since I was 14 and has only gotten worse. All I can do is take care of myself, take my steroids, and keep on keeping on really.