The trick is - to recognize that specific things will trigger specific emotions and thoughts...

Depending on what the "severity" of those specific emotions and thoughts are - will bring about how you come to deal with the situation - in terms of your outward / inward behavioral response. (Intensity / severity, level of distress varies from individual to individual - and perhaps - within the same individual whilst utilizing steps and actions in learning how to deal and cope with BPD distressing thoughts and emotions)

In all honesty - a BPD patient doesn't HAVE to exhibit specific BEHAVIORS, from the primary list of symptoms that make up the BPD diagnosis list...

For example: Most borderlines (if not, all) have a problem with rejection, invalidation and potential for real or imagined abandonement.

- What person A does in the situation in order to (SAVE) themselves from
abandonment, may differ:

- From what person B will do

- The key thing to remember here - is that the same and or similar, specific situation (abandonment) is what makes Borderlines diagnosable in the same [grouping] of diagnosis.

The way I am hearing it (And I MAY be wrong about this so please tell me if I am) - is that you're wondering if being a "quiet BPD" as in - quiet and tame - in comparison to the typical (intense, irrational) behavioral / emotional response that is so often described as being the hallmark of Borderline Personality Disorder and of Emotional Dysregulation. Is your question in relation to whether or not - you're own way of handling distressing situations is handled in an overall - more logical and - less irrational, emotionally driven response?

Let me know