I'm in a weird place. Only sleep every other day, but my eyes get so dry and painful. I don't feel depressed, but I can't concentrate on anything nor take interest in anything.....acually most days i don't bother to get dressed. I haven't eaten yet either, part of me acknowledges my stomach growling and I think, I need to go get some food..............................hours later I listen to my stomach and think, I need to get something to eat....... Part of my mind goes though different ways to die but I have no desire to act on it nor to hurt others more than they are already hurt by my silence. I just want this to end. My poor cat is trying his best to get me up, he wants to play and like eating I tell him later....... and later doesn't come. I type things on here then half the time push delete by mistake. Maybe its Freudian because its nearly always posts like this that get deleted. Even when its not I don't have the energy to re post. I want a magic wand to wave my life away. 
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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