Thanks Echoes and Feeltheburn. Thanks so much for responding. It's been very encouraging to hear from people who are older and need it too. It's so embarrassing. All of you guys are so brave. Maybe age and psychotherapy should be a thread in itself. I do ask to give her a hug at the end of the sessions. Thank goodness that is there. Some things that you guys mention (sit beside me, comfort me) would be very hard for me to ask for even though I want it. I do want to tell her that I don't want to do it alone anymore. I want someone with me to help me. One time when I was at home and I was talking to her in my head I had a transference. It took me a long time to realize I was talking to my mom. From that I know I am afraid that my therapist will use what gets to me (needing to be held and stuff) against me. I know my T is in this field because she cares but this somewhat invisible wall is almost impossible to break through.