I've mentioned it before, that I can't deal with the DIL until I get through my mourning, or at least the worst of it.

Dealing with my ex MIL's passing is going to be yet another uphill climb that won't be nearly as easy as getting through Neil's death. Jerry talked to our daughter last night and she was more ready to talk about the funeral than my oldest son. About all Jerry relayed to me was that my daughter had to leave the reception after the funeral because my ex was "being so pissy." That brought back all kinds of visions and played so many old, buried tapes that started a horrible rant until my husband couldn't take it any more.

For starters, I'm already angry that my ex didn't let me know she had passed away. It took my oldest son to tell me when I let him know about Neil. This was two days after my MIL's funeral.

Last night, I knew that my ex is getting ready to go into another scizophernic episode. But instead of feeling any empathy, I was glad! I want to see him writhe in agony for all the abuse he heaped on me. Forty years ago, I told him how his life would end if he didn't get some help and it's come about. His third wife stays with him only because she knows he wouldn't have anybody if he didn't have her. She broadcasts the fact that her bedroom is upstairs because she knows he can't climb the stairs. If I was in his place, I would rather be alone! But that's something he's never been able to do. When he and I divorced, he moved back in with his mother... during a scizo episode. My MIL would call me every day telling me what he had done or said now. She eventually moved out and left him "alone, again, naturally." That was his theme song.

Enough for now. I can feel the anger building and my blood pressure rising. This one, I'm gonna have to take in small, easy steps.

Over and out...




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>