I guess I've just figured out that I will never not be depressed. Please don't contradict me on that cause it's just a fact for me now. Hope would just be a waste of time at this point. I really don't want to hear anything like "hope it gets better" or "things will change", so just don't post that please. I have to accept depression in this way.. It's basically "if you can't beat them; join them." I have to learn to enjoy depression because I will die otherwise.