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shortandcute · Sep 22, 2013, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

I haven't cut in two weeks. And I miss it. Randomly I will feel like I've lost a friend, and I feel so pathetic about it. It was never my friend, it wont ever be, it's just a coping mechanism gone wrong for me. But I went so long without friends that rituals became those friends. Like my OCD, my anorexia. It's so sad, messed up and twisted to even think about.

Ugh, I hate myself most of the time. I don't know how to not miss it.

You're not messed up.To be honest, that can be quite common in a lot of things. An example from my own life: I was very obese for several years; a couple of years ago, I dropped quite a bit of weight, and while I was happy about it, I was more sad about it for a long time. I sort of felt like I was grieving--and I couldn't stand the way I looked being thin. Of course, I realize it's not quite the same thing, but the point is that it's not uncommon to miss those old coping skills, even if you know they're harmful. A lot of alcoholics and drug addicts often miss that "buzz," even tho they know it's harmful and they still would never go back to it. Lots of hugs and be patient with yourself.