You aren't alone! I currently take trileptal and it helps, but I am having trouble with anti-depressants - I end up having bad side effects from them and a couple have actually sent me into manic episodes. The longest I have stayed at any job is 2 years. I can't seem to stand to stay any longer, everything and pretty much everyone ends up getting on my nerves and I cannot function properly and do the job properly because I cannot concentrate on it anymore. In fact, on one job my boss even said to me, you seem to have cycles and you do really great when your up, but you have these "downtimes" when you just don't do your job effectively. It's really hard learning to deal with Bi-polar, because you know how life should be and it's like a constant battle with yourself. I see someone else has claimed the "Queen of isolation" that is what my mother has dubbed me. It has really helped me to read up on bi-polar and listen to other peoples stories so that I know it's not just me. Its the disease, I'm not a bad person, I have symptoms of a disease (just like diabetes or any other disease) that I have to learn to deal with and manage. It's not easy, and it still sometimes makes me mad as H___, but that's the way it is. You are really blessed that you have a supportive wife to help you deal with things.