Perhaps you're too new to realize who does understand and who are safe to share with? It's a good thing, to wait till you're pretty sure. I'm personally curious as to what forums and for how long you've posted and chatted... sometimes when people suffer they don't come here daily and may have missed you.

I read some pretty deep therapy stuff around the site...and have been in some very "sharing" chats as well.

I think you'll find others who truly do understand the dark side --and care. But also remember that while you might be holding back, so will others who have to protect themselves...and any "newbie" who hasn't been nice and sweet in all their posts WILL be watched longer by other suffering souls before they venture into helping. (But as I said, we all know we all have some days better than others.)