I am sorry it is so extemely tough. I wish I had answers but I dom't. Only know that somehow someway you have to get out.

My ex was an informant for the police at the time which I had found out after. No the police did not really help much. They did arrest him because I showed up at the station with a broken face and severe imjuries to my neck from being choked. Plus in Canada police have to press charges for rhe victim in domestic abuse cases after a report is filed. Because so many women are to scared to follow through or because the abuser and the victim make up and the cycle just repeats.

Restraining orders really only go so far. It can help but certainly is not enough to offer any protection really.

Can you at least get on the waiting list for a shelter? At least it would be an option if the time comes when they have space for you and your children. Because honestly it sounds like relocating away from him seems your best bet to being safe. No one can live a life looking over their shoulder all the time.

I am very sorry I really feel bad for you and your children. It is extremely maddening that the systems in place to help you are failing so misserably.