I agree, restraining orders only go so far. I've been divorced, 3 years, and still have been subjected to threats and verbally combative behaviors and was physically assaulted, at the end of August. Some men(and I'll toss out, women too, for sensitivities sake), never seem to get through their inappropriate, hateful, spiteful, resentful, anger.

It's tougher, when there are kids. Sure, shelters have the confidentiality acts, but it's usually to start completely with just the shirt on your back, which does occur. If there's a criminal case or conviction, then there's legal help out there, that appears to delve into more complex case law stuff. In this day and age, lest the children are actually physically harmed, it's really, really tough for women to get away from their abuser. I'd liken it to being re-victimized by a system designed to help. We'll see.

Sometimes, I don't feel that it's because the woman really wants to stay with or near her abuser, but there's so much red tape.

I hope you can find some solutions and an escape from his violent temper. Safely, and with health intact.

I want to add, I do have a restraining order in effect, but still have to abide by the visitation schedule. Was put on the spot, by the judge, if the children were in fear. I said emotionally affected, but didn't state fear of their father. He asked me if I had any family or close friends to help with arranging the pick ups and drop offs, which I don't, mom is deceased, I am an only(do technically have a 20 something half sister, but really don't know her well), my dad lives 9 hours away 10 months a year, and 1 hour away the other two months. This isn't really my family location, it's two states away, for a very small family. With an ex 2 blocks away from me. His family, that he's rather estranged from lives in the area, and moved to this town, to follow his job. My hs friends live all over the country, as do my college friends and the cousins I am close with.
These visits, have been 1-2 hours later than schedule for pick up. The kids told me, he hardly lets them inside his home. That, if any one of them doesn't want to visit, they don't have to and can stay with me. The schedule maintains 18 hours a week, but it's closer to 10, at the current last two week pattern.

If I didn't open my car door, my arm was about to snap against the window/door frame. I've got some interesting threats, stored away from a voice recorder that I'd uploaded to a computer, which was what he bruised me up, over.

The hearing date, is approaching. I'm worried about the stigma, of what's almost a sure guilty, he either pleads or goes to trial, for my children's sake.

Why, is it, so hard, to get these types of men, away from us women, who clearly don't want them around? With kids, can't just up and run away...