Hello & Welcome, Shadowkid!

Wow. My first impression is that right now you have little chance of finding the strength to get back on your feet. You need to recover from recent events, catch your emotional breath.

It is amazing that with your background you have been able to do so well and move on from other ugly situations.

I believe you might be able to benefit from both psychological and academic/vocational counseling. Are those resources available to you anywhere near where you live (2-1-1)?