I never had a "dad" in any sense of the word. I had a nightmare of a father who treated me like absolute garbage and beat me down in every possible way at every possible opportunity.

No brothers, (which saved another guy the same grief and heartache, at least), no uncles or other male role models as a kid. Not allowed to participate in any sports or activities, so no coaches, no scoutmasters, no mentors of any kind.

And no friends. That wasn't allowed, either. So, I grew up desperately lonely.

And I really still am. I know people, I interact, but I still don't have any close friendships of real significance. No one I can really confide in.

I want a do-over, please. Just the chance to be a kid again, and do the things I didn't get to do. And make friends, real friends, the kind that are there for you in your life.

Too much to ask for?