I am what I would classify as a"quiet" BPD. I hid my issues from my wife very well. I was always keeping up the image of a "manly man" as it were. The whole macho BS of "men don't cry" and men don't have an emotional range beyond "hunting" and "mating". My T says that is common but that it takes real strength of character to admit you have feelings and need help. My first attempt to get real help ended in disaster. My primary care doctor was a man and when I tried to tell him I was DX'd with BPD years ago and I was having issues I needed help with, he laughed and asked if I was a teenage girl since that is "only who get BPD". Took me a couple of years to ask for help again and that was only when my wife brought up the possibility of leaving.

Now, I'm always afraid that my issues will be trivialized or the full extent of my damage will not come through. I've been pretending for so long that I am really good at passing for normal, even when I lie to myself sometimes.