I'm only just catching up with this thread. Growlithing, I'm so sorry you're in so much pain right now.

I think your problems are real and important. But, for the record, it's not the size of the problem that matters when it comes to reaching out for help - it's the size of the pain you're feeling. And the pain you're feeling sounds pretty big to me. Like many of us, you've been conditioned to deny and minimise it. But emotional pain is kind of like a fire, in my opinion - if it's burning, it's burning.

For the record, I don't think you're high maintenance. I want you to post more and reach out more - as much as you need to. I really hope you can talk to your T as well, like Bill said.

Also, you could email jo@samaritans.org to talk by email. They say:

We aim to respond to your email within 12 hours. How quickly we respond depends on how many volunteers we have working at that time.

If you email jo@samaritans.org and don't receive a reply within 24 hours, it may be worth checking your junk mail folder or resending your original message just in case there was a problem with sending it the first time.

Huge hugs to you.