Oh my god, it's a mirror image of MY mother. Unfortunately, I'm not over 18 yet to get away from her. But you are, and she is treating you like you are still seven. On the card thing, I would say, your an adult, you can buy your own cards. Even if she thinks you can't and you've talked to her about it. Just buy one and put your own name on it. I'm sure your family knows what she is like and knows her writing. She needs to SEE that you can take care of your own business. And don't worry, I highly doubt your family will look at you funny when they get two cards. It's obvious which one is from your mother.
And I would tell her straight out on her answer machine: " I know you want me to chase you and that is what I've been doing all this time and you try to give me guilt trips when I don't, but I refuse to anymore. If you want to hear from me you can act like an adult and return my message."
I know that sounds harsh, but just think about it: what is chased will run. You are chasing her around like a child after a bunny. But, if the child sits patiently, the bunny will come.
She may not talk to you for a long time, but she will. In the meantime, it's way less stress on you. Because when she actually does call, you are going to have to be the adult in the situation and realize that she will not be. Even if you're 90, it doesn't mean that you don't have alot of growing up to do. And it sounds to me like she does have alot of growing up to do. Good luck!!!!
Hugs,
Shannan

People know a little about everything and alot about nothing.