No child deserves to be treated the way you have been. And I don't believe you are evil. I think you are a very lonely, abused child that needs help. You didn't say how old you, but have tried to call Child Protective Services? Is there a school counselor you can talk to. I'm glad you felt you could post here and make yourself heard. We are always ready to listen here. I wish there was more I could do than to listen. I really hope you find help either through a school counselor or through the ER and that doesn't mean you have to hurt yourself only that you are wanting to. Best wishes, dear.