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Hi Butterflying. You could look for another T that allows texting, but it's possible that you will eventually end up with the same problem of doing therapy through texting, which most therapists prefer to discourage. This may not be an issue of some arbitrary rule, and one indicating that he doesn't care about you, but something that actually does indicate he cares -he cares enough to actively encourage you to talk about these issues in person, when he can really and truly help you, rather than through text, through which he may well feel he can't help you in the ways you need.
You say he doesn't support you regarding your son specifically in the context of being unwilling to help you with this by text. Again, just because he doesn't want to address such a huge and complex issue as this through text, doesn't mean he doesn't support and care about you. Do you bring it up in session and does he help you there? I think it might be helpful to focus on ways he helps you in therapy. And maybe try to remember how he has supported and helped you through these many years regarding sui. I don't know exactly what he said about the professional implications for him, but I suspect that's not the only point of view he's shared with you.
If you text him that you want to end your life, I don't see how he can truly help you with this through text. In some ways it might be irresponsible to try to do so -with all of the misunderstandings that could ensue, this could actually drive someone to complete the act, or at least to spiral even further.
There was a mention of coping skills. You said once that he has encouraged you to use the skills you've worked on in therapy to get you through those difficult times between sessions and when you get the urge to text. I know it's not always effective, and is something that has to be worked on, steps back, steps forward, but it does sound like he is and has tried to help you with skills to deal with the texting issue -in other words, he hasn't just abandoned you, with no skills to help you through it.
I'm sorry he sounded so cold regarding talking about your mother's death. Maybe you can share with him how you interpreted what he said, how it made you feel. Getting this resolved/out of the way may help you to go on to talk about your mother's death in ways that will help you.
I hope you can continue to share with him how the texting issue and others make you feel, so you can potentially work it out. You could, of course, look for another T, but then the question to ask yourself would be if the same dynamics may play themselves out again with another therapist. It may be better to work out these dynamics within the context of this therapeutic relationship. But you will ultimately know best what route to take.
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