kaliope- I would really like to stay on my current meds. I've gone through SSRI, SNRI, and NDRI AD and every MS besides lithium. Only 2 AP's are available to me and Abilify is not covered by my insurance. My current AD has AP qualities and is the only AD that has increased my appetite while decreasing my paranoia surrounding food. The idea of having several medications in the house scares me plus I have a horrid time keeping medication down.

99 FAIRIES - I think disphoric mania is the only time I have obsessively violent thoughts but I'm not use to putting names to things. ****, it was only 2-3 years ago did I realize that I have paranoia, and delusions. That's only because PC kept explain it.

Am I manic or hypo manic? Okay, everyone seems to be in agreement that it's probably mania and possibly severe. That sucks, because around this time is when we start thinking we may be hypo-manic and we may want to ask for help.

New question:
So when do we know we need to ask for help?

Can geodon be taken as a PRN? I'm thinking that it can because it has less of a half-life but I'll have to ask pdoc Wednesday. The reason that I ask is because I have decided I will not take a long term AP.

My paranoia for weight gain gets worse as I get worse. I start to have trouble understanding that the meds aren't purposely given to me gain weight instead of help those thoughts. Then to top it off I naturally assign a pound to pill ratio for each weight gaining med. Seroquel 25mg = 1 pill adds a pound, zyprexa is 1 pill adds 2.5 lbs. So I'm taking 1 pill when I think "If I wake up worried about the same demented though I should think about call pdoc." and .5 when I haven't slept the night before.

Should I be upset that T told my husband (who I currently don't trust) I need a long term AP? you yourself set up that system to keep you safe Yes I couldn't really understand English at that point (anxiety) so I'm not mad she talked to him. I'm mad that he lied (I feel so he could have a chance to hurt himself), she believed him, and saying I need a full time AP seemed to come out of left field (and hit me like a ton of bricks knowing my opinion on AP's.) BUT she did repeat over and over again "You need to try to calm down, take the seroquel, and sleep, you need sleep." Which I've been repeating over in my head and have been able to convincing myself to take it at least every other day because I trust her opinion.

How do I ask my pdoc for a different AP?

I've decided to refuse weigh in because I don't need to further my parinioa of AP's and gaining weight. I think it'll come up when I refuse to get weighed because I've been taking the AP

How do I protect my husband from his issues if I'm taking tons of meds? your really not in any shape to keep an eye on your husband

New question:
If I don't who will? I know he's an adult and I know in my current mood I'm pushing him more towards sui. If I'm knock out on meds am I going to wake up if he leaves the bedroom

will the sedation and numbness of AP go away if PRN? I geuss I can just deal because it's suppose to put me to sleep but I don't think for 14 hrs

New Question:
Do most AP's knock you out for that long?