I managed to eat a little today. That was a small accomplishment. I haven't been able to in a long time. Not much anyway. I don't know why. I don't like thinking about it. But I took my sister to Cici's and I nibbled at a slice of pizza and ate half of the salad I put on my plate.

On the opposite side of Bark, everyone's been pointing out how much weight I've lost. I think they think they're complimenting me. Except, I don't think they are. It actually makes me feel worse. I think it's contributing to my worsening depression at the moment. My mom took one look at me today when I got home and pointed it out.

I feel kind of caught between feeling good and feeling depressed. In that awkward stage between the two. I think it's because today was, overall, a good day. I got my WoW shirt in the mail today and it fit. Which made me happy. I got a 99% on the exam that pretty much everyone else in my class failed or barely passed (C or lower for most of them). It was easy peasy for me. I already knew about Pavlov and Skinner and Operant Conditioning and positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement. And studied hard for the emotion/motivation chapter. (Thank you dog training, btw. Who knew training my corgi with Skinner and Pavlov's methods would one day pay off)

Today has had its share of ups. And yet. The depression is still nagging in the back of my mind. Telling me that it won't last. Like it always does.

On the bright side, that smile when I saw that 99% after hearing him say that, as a class, we did terrible... I have not smiled so wide since I was a child.

OH. I have another up! My mom called the clinic hear and found out that, as an adult student with no income, I can be seen for mental health concerns for free. No sliding scale. No medicaid required. Free. The downside? Of course, I have to call to make my own appointment. I expected as much. But being socially awkward and nervous? It's kind of off putting. I'm going to try, though. Phones have always been an enemy of mine, though.