Thank-you for understanding that I "don't get it", I put trigger because I realized my last post scared people. Honestly if I knew I'd scare anyone I wouldn't have posted.

I think others around can't/don't see this mess. ****, even my son barely sees. I know because of his reaction and confusion when seeing others fight. He understands I'm mad and don't want hugs. My husband is pulling my son's T aside and informing her of how things are going with me, just incase she hasn't read our file. I will be going to my son's pdoc appointments.

My husband is pretty sure he'll be told to go inpatient, especially since I messed with his meds, months ago. If suggested he will go. He doesn't even know what meds he's on (I fill each of our meds weekly.) I think Pdoc will increase my meds, remind me where his office is, scheduled me for a month and 'release' me to my husband. Meaning my T and his T will talk and figure out what to do with us if his pdoc just does an increase. I just had a med increase 8 wks ago. by request and finally bit the bullet and asked for a PRN. I think it'll depend on what my therapist wrote.

The next part I put in white so if you want to read you'll have to highlight it. I'm trying to be sensitive.

Some time between 8 and 2 wks. ago I scared my therapist. The even stranger thing is I wasn't able to communicate last session and she was stressed. So I wasn't able to tell her about taking the PRN on my own when I realized I was thinking violently (now I don't want too!) or maybe by now she realizes when I "flip-s***" I really 'flip-sh***'. I'm hoping I can speak and understand on Wednesday (happens when I'm anxious). Writing is a lot easier for me so I'm going to bring a notebook. I'm going to have to ask her what scared her. I mean I've done said stranger things.

I was going to say something else but I don't remember, I'm not thinking well. I know I only start threads when things are going bad and I'm sorry for scaring anyone with this thread or any other thread. Honestly I have trouble seeing it as serious as others here do. So if this is 'extreme' what's hypo? When our we suppose to get help?

I'm sorry you guys have to keep explaining this type of stuff. I was raised in a house of untreated mental illness (apparently extreme), and only realize anything could possibly be wrong until college and am VERY slowly learning that what we felt was very mild is not. Especially since even at our worse we have never been hospitalized.