Hi, retardgirl. Sounds like you and your father both have a lot going on. Social anxiety can make life very difficult, especially if you have to attend an event like a family reunion. If I understand you correctly, you would like to get out and meet friends but have too much anxiety when you leave the house. That is a catch 22 situation. You know you need help from a professional but it's not possible at this time. Your dad sounds like he is probably depressed, too and unable to help you.

Do you have the ability to do some volunteer work? That would get you out of the house and you would feel better about yourself. Plus maybe you could make some new friends. You could also work on breathing exercises to help with the anxiety. Talkin to people on PC should help your loneliness, too.

Good luck,