<font color="purple"> Hi Pilatus, yes in a way i can relate to your experience..but in another way i'm not afraid of dying..i can't wait to die...maybe because i'm suicidal that's the difference..in the way that i can relate to u is that my father commited suicide when he was 34 i was 14 at the time..and now that im 30..i kinda have this very strong feeling that i will also die...before the age of 34...i missed my suicide twice already...some people say that people who want to die..really dont miss there suicide well i'm living proof that yes u can...sometimes not everything goes as planned...so i can understand your thoughts about it all..i just don't have the fear. Take care </font>