Sorry you are feeling so bad right now. Abandonment is the core issue, isn't it. But are you really reading a business trip as abandonment? Has he never gone away without you before? If so, he obviously came back. He will come back this time. Just take a minute to breathe. Let the extreme emotions you are feeling right now just settle down some. Then try to look at this from a reasonable and rational stand point. He needs to make these trips. Just because he promised to stay with you and take care of you, you still need to take a little care with how you treat him. You say that you "push and push". If you are aware that you are doing this, can you try to maybe back off a little? Are you in therapy right now? If not, you might want to consider getting back in. Things can get better and stay better for you, but you have to want them and be willing to work for them.