Hi there!
First let me welcome you to PC! I think you will find the support you are looking for here.

Bless your heart! You do sound as if you're having a difficult time right now. It sounds as if your husband has forgiven you and wants to move on. I'm wondering why you're having such a hard time forgiving yourself? Do you know what made you go out of your marriage in the first place? Perhaps figuring that piece out would be helpful to you.

I could have written what you wrote 20 years ago! Please try to not be so hard on yourself. Check back in with your physician and let him/her know your experience with Paxil. With your input I'm sure your doc can come up with something that works for you.
Good luck and please keep posting letting us know how you are doing.

Take care,
Okie