Thank you everyone for the responses.

We are actually going to our couples therapist today. I went off my meds and stopped therapy a year ago. I'm happy to be off all the meds but I definitely should have continued therapy. I will be starting again for sure.

My fear isn't that he won't come back. My fear is that he will cheat. He has never cheated before. And I do trust him. BUT I feel like any man or women for that matter has it in them to cheat if they are put in compromising situations.

Just a little info about the trips....

The trip to Amsterdam is for a big electronic music conference / festival. He has some DJ's that he manages and he has to go there to network. So there will be conferences during the day but at night he will be going out to the festival. It's a HUGE PARTY. With drugs, alcohol, girls ect. Normally he would always bring me with him to this type of stuff. But I got a job now and can't go with him. Also it's a big expense to fly there. I'd have to quit my job in order to go.

The Abu Dhabi trip is to go schmooze with these guys who he is doing consulting work with. They basically are going to be "entertaining" my fiance and his partner. So yes, there will be some meetings. but there will also be socializing. And the Abu Dhabi guys are Billionaire's who have endless money to spend on "entertaining" their guests. I'm sure there will be girls lined up. My fiance says even if there are girls on a platter for him.. I should trust him. And if I don't then we shouldn't be together.

So what do you guys think? Should I trust him in these unique situations?