I have felt like crap for the past two days, just really down, and my family was talking about the way these two women had been hitting on him, and how he had mentioned once to my mom how he wasn't interested in dating, and in a roundabout/nondirect way stated that he still has "needs". Although he would never do anything without a relationship with the other person because he is an extremely moral person, and I give him kudos for that. There's one woman in particular that hangs all over him like white on rice. He doesn't reciprocate, but he doesn't push her away. He never really pushes anyone away regardless of who they are and what their intentions are. He just seems to be that kind of a person. But the jealousy and anger and hurt I feel is just so strong. I told them that I really didn't want to talk about it. We were at a restaurant and I almost started crying. I was able to hold it together though and pretend to laugh and smile and be happy. In a way I feel sorry for the woman because she lost her husband and seems lonely, but on the other hand she is so freaking obvious when she hangs on him like that, it's kind of sickening and seems inappropriate seeing as it's in a church and he's the pastor. I want him to be happy though, that's my wish for him. He has seen so much crap lately, the failure of his marriage and inevitable separation and divorce last year, the failure of his business, and then finding out his ex-wife has breast cancer, so instead of buying the house that he so longed for, closer to the church, he kept her on his insurance and is paying for her treatment. He was absolutely devastated. He cried at the drop of a hat and you could tell that he was in distress. He was quite candid, to me at least, about his dislike of the woman, but his integrity and moral values are very strong, and he wanted to do the right thing, even though she was basically a monster to him and treats him, even now with him PAYING for everything, like a piece of dirt. He needed the rest of a month off in California. But I miss him so bad that it's the only thing I can think about sometimes. I want him to get the rest he needs and the peace of mind he's looking for. But I want to be happy too, and so far it's a no go.