I could relate to so much of your post as I just posed the same question in my own thread...how do you start to like yourself when you've never liked yourself? You really described so well how I often feel.

You mentioned having a sibling that got better treatment and I had that growing up too and I really think that plays a HUGE part in our self-esteem especially as a child. My older sibling got all the glory - she's really smart, always got straight As and basically excelled at anything she tried whether it was band, dancing, etc. I was constantly compared to my sister and never felt good enough. NO matter what I accomplished, it was pushed aside as I could never live up to my sister. I even remember in college when I changed my major to Business...my parents said, "are you sure you can handle business? Because that's what your sister majored in." Like I wasn't smart enough like my sister to major in Business - wth??? And like you till this day, no matter what I accomplish in life, it feels empty and hollow and it's probably because we've never had the fulfillment of feeling accomplished and proud since we never got that as children from our parents. As a child, all we want is our parents unconditional love and attention and we didn't get that and we never learned to give that to ourselves as children. Perhaps that's why it's so difficult to do so as an adult.