Quote:
Originally Posted by duende
Hi there.
Everyone has a different story with different ways of coping. I believe that most of us do our best to work with what we’ve got, even if it appears as self-sabotage to others. In my family of origin, the message was: “Stop crying! Your worries are ridiculous! Stand up straight, and walk with a purpose. Stop focusing on yourself so much." I was a scared, hypersensitive boy who did what he could to not get in trouble. Under that, I had a lot of loneliness, resentment, and rage.The underlying threat was emotional abandonment, and sometimes physical as well. I won’t get into details, but there was abuse. I survived.
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Since you were abused in your childhood,you feel 'toxic shame' which is at the core of your problems.The abuse led you to suppress your true emotions of anger and resentment and build a false subservient,quiet 'self' and learnt people pleasing tactics too just so you could stay out of trouble.Also,you Please work with your therapist toward knocking down the false self,addressing and resolving issues which caused you pain and building a self esteem.
Once you are able to do ^^,more than half the battle is won and I'm sure you will do great with the assistance of your therapist.Good luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by duende
The truth is I feel like I’m sinking day by day. I'm an adult, but inside, I'm just a scared little boy. I’m scrambling around, reminding myself that I want to feel whole. I want to be able to fully love and be loved. I’m new and look forward to reading your posts
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Only when you address the pain I mentioned above,knock down the false self and build a healthy self esteem will you be able to be truly emotionally intimate and love in the real sense of the term.Healthy adult love shall definitely come to you when you are emotionally healthy to sustain and reciprocate it.
Take care.
Hugs,
Embellished