Hey
I feel like this too. I sat on my other half's bed today and tried to explain it. Its so hard. Is it just a coping mechanism to shield myself that my brain has come up with. But then my brain is me, but if its in my brain maybe it is real.
You then just feel more crappy than when you began. I know its no consolation to you but its kind of reassuring that its not just me that dwells on this. There must be less thought in that thought surely if its not just me, and its not just you.
In moments of clarity I think STOP BEING SO STUPID ITS JUST PART OF NOT BEING WELL AT THIS TIME AND JUST ACCEPT THAT IT IS HAPPENING, STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT but its hard when that's all you can think about.
Its all an irrational thing and so being logical and trying to reason with yourself about it is never going to be an easy one.
I think its just about finding that reassurance that you're not alone in and out of your head. It won't make it go away but its a comfort. Or at least I hope.
It has to go away eventually. I'm sorry you're going through this.