Quote:
Originally Posted by psychmajortwenty2
I stopped using Facebook because I had some friends who decided I was emotionally exhausting and didn't want any part of my friendship anymore. But we're still Facebook friends. That's because I didn't ultimately confront them about it... I just got a vibe that was what was going on. Then another friend who was also leaving the city to live back with her parents, who I trust, told me that they thought I was emotionally exhausting and thought they didn't want to hang out with me anymore. I didn't ask her for details because I was feeling really sensitive and didn't want to go off the deep end by hearing how it might have come up. Or if it was mentioned off hand.. I would have felt better about it.. but I didn't want to take the chance either way. I took that as truth and haven't tried talking to them since. And they haven't talked to me either.
But the thing is... WE'RE STILL FACEBOOK FRIENDS. It's so weird. I thought about removing them from it.. but I figured why bother. If you remove one friend from the circle, then you'd have to remove that entire social circle because it would be awkward and obvious otherwise. But I didn't want to go to all that trouble.
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hihi
I think we actually discussed this situation at one point.
and... I mean if these people are as careless as it seems does it matter so much if your actions are obvious? I'd think you might actually want them to be.
Draw your line, ya know?
Also, I may have suggested this before:
the awkward can all come from them, it doesn't need to come from you.
Let them deal with the awkward, you just deal with you. And how you are looking for your own positive space.
regarding Facebook:
Reasons I use Facebook (in order) are:
1.Personal amusement.
2.Intellectual stimulation and debate.
3.Finding stupid stuff from places like Thought Catalog, Metapicture and cracked.com that I didn't find first [granted, this is an extension of "personal amusement" but takes much less effort]
4.Keeping up with major events in friends' lives.
Facebook is really a tool and like any tool there are so many ways to use it- it can be a social nightmare, or a way to connect and network, a place to exchange ideas, or...?
Also, with all the "perfect" updates and photos, I think sometimes people unintentionally do this up the ante stuff on because they feel they have to measure up... to what, I'm not entirely sure.
I try not to play that game and just have on-going random conversations with my friends. FB should be fun and relaxing and engaging in whatever way you want it to be. If it's not, why bother?
It shouldn't be like work; work is like work.
Last few things I posted were: a picture of this silly elephant with uneven eyes I painted, commentary about how blanket forts are more portable than pillow forts and therefore better, something about how NSYNC was never ever attractive and how I had just failed to recognize my own picture because I change it too often.
Low key and conversational- it shouldn't be about impressing or one-upping people on there, these should be people who ALREADY want to engage with you because they appreciate you NOW.
If someone is going to "block" you because you don't call the 80th kitty picture they have posted that hour "the cutest wittle thing ever" due to recently setting a filter on such posts from them... is this a person you actually want to engage with?
Really though, you should do what you want.
Pretty much no matter what you do, in any arena, SOMEONE is going to be unhappy,
it shouldn't be you.
Josie