Trapped in my own mind with low energy and only want to sleep. Probably my children are what keeps me pretending to enjoy life. I really don't enjoy anything anymore and seldom if ever experience happiness. Perhaps it is just self-pity but who knows.

I married a recovering alcoholic/drug addict many years ago. He did get into some legal trouble before I met him. We feel madly in love and five years later were married and had a family. He slowly proceeded to abuse and become addicted to everything. He lies to me. Drinks and drives the children around. Abuses drugs and I just don't ever believe him. We have a nice front for folks and I hide everything I can from my children. He now has chronic medical conditions and needs several surgeries. We are all he has and I cannot leave him. I do feel hopeless and if it were not for my children, probably would find some way out.

How can you ever trust an addict again? Is it better for children to have a household together than being pulled from place to place. Is it not easier to hide the painful truth from your kids? At times I am afraid of him and what he will do next.

Can you give me your suggestions?