I can't add anything to what others have stated , except (((((((((((((((tiodlliwi)))))))))))))))

The pain in your words brings reminds me of my own pain in my young adulthood. I now teach an agre group just slightly younger than you, and I see some that get into this kind of tailspin, and my heart goes out to them. There is so much emotional intensity, I think, as we navigate this period of life.

There is wisdom in Pat's clear words.