Hello I hope you are doing well at this time. I am not sure if youare aware of this but there is help for you for your fear of the future and death. A good therapist can help you work through a lot of your fears, and help you gain new insight to help you get through life in a more productive manner. I hope the best for you and you get the help you need and deserve soon, so that you feel better about the future, and you can live a happier and more productive life. Take care Sincerely Soidhonia