I am definitely having problems dealing with my BPII DX. Being a sober addict has one set of voices in my head and the BP has a completely different set. Coming out of denial about the BP has totally thrown me for a loop, whereas before I thought I only had one set of voices. I am just so confused about it all. I have been unable to come up with a plan with my pdoc and therapist because I feel dumbfounded. Being the good addict I am, I got online and went to a smoke shop to buy legal hebs to smoke to help with the anxiety. I just want to use and be done with it. The only thing that has stopped me is the thought that my daughter has never seen me fubar-ed. I am getting to the point, thought, where I am not caring about that. I even stayed up all night twice this week after taking 200mg of seroquel. I am struggling and hating it. I wish I had the voice of recovery added into the equation, and maybe over time, I will. I have been doing lots of reading about this disorder and that helps at the time. My prediction is that I will probably use at some point in the near future just because I want to shut them all up. I appreciate all that you have said and I intend to think about it at length.