I agree with this person that said she doesn't like the word "survivor." In most cases, having survived any kind of abuse or neglect was up to the perpetrator(s). They simply didn't kill your body. My therapist called my abuse "soul murder." I would change that to "spirit murder." I still have my soul, thank you very much!

It's overcoming the mental and emotional damage that was done by the perpetrator(s) that we're left with. It's learning and believing that it wasn't us. It wasn't our fault. We didn't ask for it. The guilt lies completely on the part of the perpetrator(s).

Overcoming the pain, the emotional and mental warping of our spirit, learning healthy coping mechanisms and not living in the past that makes us overcomers, not merely survivors.

My therapist also told me that I'm a "survivor" and I guess I am. Having had to take care of myself from the very beginning, I've acquired a suspicious nature. I'm more aware of red flags in relationships. If I'm put in a difficult situation, I've learned how to get myself out of those situations or not jump in with both feet... most of the time. I still blow it from time to time. I'm a sucker for someone who needs what I have to give.

The older I get, the more I realize that my personal boundaries aren't as pliable as they once were. Treat me with kindness and respect, or you're on down the road! That goes for everyone from an online friend right down to my kids and grandkids. My youngest son, my baby, won't darken my doorway again until he can show me the respect he owes his mother. No more coming into my house, making himself at home while acting as if I don't exist!

Just because I was a victim in my past, doesn't mean I have to continue being a victim. Those of us who have been vicitmized tend to allow anyone to continue to vicitmize us... or we become hyper defensive, angy and hurtful. To me, that's not overcoming. Survivor, yes. Overcomer, no.

Recognizing how our psychie was changed, how we act or react in any given situation is surviving. Changing our reactions, thinking about what just happened first, and then acting on it in a healthy, proper manner, is being an overcomer.

Being able to do it every time is perfection. IMO, there was only one perfect being on this Earth and none of us are He!