That's why there's the old saying, "Cross that bridge when you come to it." There have been a few times in my life when the child hankster spoke to the adult hankster observing something happening at the famiky home. Like a few years after my dad had a stroke, he just started getting old and slowing down. And child hankster said - in my head but very clearly - "uh-oh -- she's not gonna like that. She likes you to get better at stuff, not worse." She being my mother. And my mother didnt really have patience with my dad as he declined. Like you would expect a normal in-tune person to do? But my point is - our fears of needing too much aren't our own. They are more what child hankster said - she's not gonna like that. This is what we are trying to fix, to re-do in therapy. It's like tweaking (not twerking) a recipe.