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Old Sep 25, 2013, 04:21 PM
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tealBumblebee tealBumblebee is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,100
How aware are you? And how do you know that you are being aware?

I remember in highschool randomly thinking - "What have I been doing for the last few days?" I knew I had obviously been going to school, but I couldn't remember eating lunch, what I was doing after school, how I had been spending my time - had I watched tv? I don't think i've had a blantantly "unaware" moment like that since.

I know i'm not highly aware of much. I'm usually in my head and feel like i'm "in the present" but I realize once i'm away and think back that I actually wasn't very aware at all.

For instance, I tried to see just how aware I was by thinking - what color is the couch I sit on in therapy every week for the last 7-8 (at the time) weeks? And I simply did not know. I have drawn patterns with my finger in this couch, rested on it, looked at the length, shared it with T one time (facing each other, where the couch would be very much part of my peripherals) - and I couldn't decide if it was blue, or brown? Maybe black? Then it took about 2 more weeks to remember to look at the couch - and it turns out the couch was actually grey plaid .

With the exception of dissociation - how aware is the average "normal" person?
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A majorly depressed, anxious and dependent, schizotypal hypomanic beautiful mess ...[just a rebel to the world with no place to go...]
Thanks for this!
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