7 years of blah isn't good either.It could be many reasons why you are not getting adequate relief. one of the things that I had trouble with was always feeling just below baseline, not quite depressed but not good either, that was my anxiety not being addressed for several years after working on the bp. My pdoc never offered anything for it, I was given klonopin in the hospital 4yrs after my dx and have had it since. I have learned that my mood states are very much influenced by my anxiety levels.

That statement about joy resonates with me. After my mania departed and I crashed into a 7 month depression, I felt I couldn't find my joy. It has taken a long time and even now I would say it is fleeting times, no sustained amounts. The most recent being my son's engagement party this summer. That was a joyful day and I was still happy a couple of days later but...it ends. Life keeps going on. I try to stay busy with things but its not easy being a retired stay at home mom.