I'm not an angry person, but the past few days I've been absolutely rageful. Monday was the worst of it. I just think of every wrong that has ever been committed against me, all the times my friends weren't there enough for me, all of my parents' shortcomings, all the times when I loved the other person more than they loved me-and I'm MAD! It doesn't help that my computer has been having problems, which leads to me screaming profanity at it.

The fact is that I do have a reason to be angry. People do take me for granted and treat me like I'm invisible. I'm always the one planning dates, reaching out to the other person, etc....and I'm sick of it! For once, I just want my friends to invest as much into our friendship as I have. I want to know that I am worth something to them, not the bottom of their priority lists.

So, how do I harness this angry energy to get the kind of mutual relationships I want and deserve? I've used it so far to improve myself- going to the gym, studying, etc. so that they will look at me in a few years and wish they had gotten close to me when they had a chance. But what can I do to get my friends to realize that they need to treat me better in the present?

Also, am I crazy/selfish/narcissistic for believing that I'm entitled to fulfulling, deep relationships with other people? I just want what everyone else has, really. A friend who is as excited to be around me as I am to be around them.