Hey, it's been noticely like this the past couple years. But now that I think about it, it may have been my whole life. It's like anything that I may fail, i don't even try and already accept failure, so i can't fail. I make my goals ones that i no way can fail so that i dont. In school, classes that im really good at (rare classes) i try super hard and get 100% and i know i will get perfect. but a class where i might not do so well. even if it is an easy project, ill put it off until a week after it is due and then if i try to even open the textbook, i get so many negative thoughts and self loathing thoughts and my body just wants to do ANYTHING but that. Or even anything else in life. I can go to get my drivers liscense but i wont. i dont want a bank account or cell phone or house or wife or kids or job or anything. and i did so bad last year and i procastinated like youd never know. people procastinate, but not like me. I just didnt even do half the stuff. everything was done weeks after it was due. i basically had to beg gyudance to let me pass. now im starting grade twelve and i cant dont want to fail the year again. Im feeling really bad right now, because i want to do stuff in life. but if i stop wanting to do stuff in life and just give up, then i wont feel bad anymore and thats what ive always been doing forever and i dont want to give up, but i physically cant do anything, too many bad emotions and i am a tough guy even though from what i wrote it doesnt sound like it, but i cant even handle the bad feelings i get when i try to succeed. Ahhh. Im having a panic attack. I need to give up. I have a project due tommorow and i dont have the right stuff to do it and im so ****ed holy ****. I would stop feeling this bad if i gave up. Help me please. Sorry im so annoying