I saw her today.....she didn't look at me, and of course she isn't talking. Not just to me, to everyone! Today is her sisters birthday and she wouldn't even say anything to her. She said (wrote) that she is NEVER going to talk again. I dropped everything to go see her, and she didn't want me to see her. I was packing her apartment up and her sister called me and said go see her, they are expecting you. I needed to get some information from her so I can close up some loose ends with the apartment that's the only reason she said she would see me. Then when I tried talking to her, to be supportive, she only criticized that I was there not at visiting hours. And then she proceeded to give me a list of items she wanted from her apartment, and a list of things to buy at the store for her. Money is tight, I'm not working and she just expects me to do all this for her. We were having some issues before this all happened, I was "hard" on her, I was tired of this kind of life and wanted to move forward.....I know I pushed her, I know I wanted more support from her then she was willing to give to me. Its been all about her threw our relationship, I've had my own issues and now health issues on top of that. I am upset that I am going threw this alone, and I'm upset with myself because I felt like I've pushed her too hard. I didn't cut today, everyday is a challenge. I know I need to keep busy and do other things to keep my mind busy so today ........ I split wood, dug up rocks, worked on rebuilding my stone wall. So in away I feel pain, but its pain from hard work so that cant be bad right?

I do feel guilty. I am upset. I am angry. I am hurt that she is "sick" AGAIN. I am happy that I've found this site because I really need to vent and talk and feel heard. So thank you for listening and giving me your input, I really appreciate it.