Thanks, she was so scared. Took her to random drug test today - she was clean except pot good news. But they wouldn't even let me walk with her to door of jail drug test area. . She was high anxiety almost tears, said mom wait here I have to go alone. This was hard for me to watch her cross that street like she was 4 again... Just let me walk over and help her find right door to go into - test me too if you want! But nope. She's 19. My baby & I have no rights. . Very rough day up since 5am, helping 17 ur old get to work, then 11 yr old to school, then me to work an hour away, then rush back to take daughter an hour away other direction for the drug test, and so on... Dinner, dishes, showers, bed. Now I lay in bed waiting for sleep. It has to get a little easier at some point.

Totally subconsciously butt-dialed my daughter 3 times tonight lol. Got to say goodnight I love you 3 extra times. She was amused at silly mom, seriously I was trying to use the phone as a flashlight, then later trying to plug it in the charger.

Realizing I'm worried about her bf. if she's telling me the truth that he will break up with her if she does H again. She's promising me he doesn't do it & said ppl all around are accusing him because of her getting busted, she asked me to please not join in on that. I want to believe her but - me at that age - I lied to my parents all the time. ...

Just processing, so much on my mind. Sleep would be helpful if it will come tonight.