Thanks to all for the supportive advice and, mainly, an ear! I am working with a therapist that I'm very happy with and have made small steps- learning to practice better "self talk", deep breathing, and standing up for myself. My main problem is just letting things get to the point (such as last night) where everything feels wrong and I, in turn feel hopeless. I am still hesitent to go back on the meds- I read pretty horrible stuff about them and did not have an easy time getting off of them, etc. Some of my strategies are going to be: daily walks, journaling, AND ( ! ) a decision I made today is to actually maybe open up with more people- including family. If someone seems concerned (even if it's just my perception) I can just let them in on the fact that my anxiety is high lately- without delving into everything else. My parents understand about the anxiety because they have delt with it on and off throughout their lives, too. That way, I won't feel like I'm shutting people out- in fact, maybe it will broaden my support network. ALSO, if I don't call as often or feel in the mood to entertain, etc. they will have a better understanding than knowing nothing at all.

I know I shouldn't feel that I need to reveal all to my parents or feel bad about not wanting to call or see them all the time anymore. But I've always looked to them for approval and that is one of the many things I need to work on. Does this make sense? Can anyone relate?

Thanks again for all the support- it is so helpful just to know that there are others out there and that I am not alone!!!