You said :

okay generally I have chest pains, numbness/tingling in my hands/fingers, feel dizzy, sick, fainting (often), heart pounding, headaches/migraines, vision problems, ringing ears, sweating/chills, ice cold hands and feet yet my body is hot, have to pee alot/urgently, disconnection from reality, confusion, fear im 'losing it', fear im going to die.

Wow - can I remember those days ! I was positive I had a brain tumor - I mean - what else could cause anyone to be so sick and scared ? After literally $1,000 (closer to $100,000) in tests, and everything ruled out from cancer, to anything known to man, I accepted I had panic disorder. Every single symptom you say you have are part of the "fight or flight response" that our body goes into when scared. We might not recognize we are scared in our thoughts, but something trips that trigger anyway - just as if a bear is about to attack us - so we prepare to "fight it - or run like heck" (thus the name fight or flight). Perhaps when whatever happens with your heart issue happens - your body freaks out. I had alot of triggers.

Once I accepted it was panic disorder - and that was in 1990 after suffering 17 years - I found a specialist in treating panic and anxiety disorders. He put me on Klonopin - and within 2 weeks - no panic. It took longer than that to get the full benefit - but I knew in 2 weeks I was on the right track. I cannot tell you to take the medication, but I can tell you that it gave me my life back. I know you have struggled with taking the med for quite a while - having read that post some time ago, but I would encourage you to try it. I remember about your bad reaction - to Paxil I believe it was - and they are not related - do not work on the same parts of the brain etc - and you should really not assume you will have a bad reponse to this med because of that one.

I cannot tell you that you only have panic disorder - altho it certainly sounds like you DO have it - but of course, I cannot say you dont have anything else wrong with you, but, with that said, IF you were to get the panic under control with your medication, and 90% of your symptoms go away, think of the relief you would feel ! Think of the improvement in your quality of life ! I DO know that we can experisnce true physical symptoms from panic and anxiety. I hold stress in my neck and shoulders - therefore I have horrible neck and back pain - sometimes headaches as a result. When that happens, I work on relaxation technques, and rational self talk - and try to reduce my stress level - thus relieving the pain.

I do wish you luck - no one should suffer needlessly. I truly would give the medication a chance. Talk to your parents about your fear of taking it - and make sure you are around them - or someone - when you start taking it - to relieve the worry some. I sure as heck would hold your hand when you start it if I could - I have that much faith in it helping you!