Facts:

1. "I sometimes contact a helpline when I feel suicidal."

Exactly, you "feel" suicidal. I felt suicidal for many years, but here I still am; that certainly doesn't mean I was an attention seeking "asshole".

2. "I see a psychologist"

They are professionals - if you were just an "attention seeking asshole" then I doubt you'd get yourself a psychologist.

3. "Or am I just a weak, attention seeking asshole as I suspect?"

Putting yourself down. Clear example of someone depressed; we do it on a regular basis.

4. "I think about suicide."

The answers lies clearly within your message: you are depressed.

Because that's their job.

I expect so. Here is also something you feel.