I've been really irritable & rageful too recently. So much of what you're saying are things I've been thinking lately too. Like the "bff's" who only spend much time on me when they're in between men.

My one latest awesome fun yoga friend has fallen in love and is enmeshed in their magic... I am happy for her but still feel a little rejected like our girl power wall has been busted open.

Then thinking about the person I thought I fell in love with over the summer - and wtf was I thinking - how dare he not return my affection haha. But seriously I was wondering if I'm so self centered to be mad that he doesn't feel the same. So I'm mad,'super mad that he didn't want me cuz I'm not a 30 yr old baby maker anymore - so I'm mad at him when I'm the one who took it too fast & got the wrong idea... I've thought a lot about it.

We get attached to people. Dream for the best. Start building this whole fantasy relationship that doesn't even really exist yet. Then when reality hits, we are mourning over this whole shattered fantasy, so it takes time I think to get over it. And hopefully be more cautious with falling in love next time. I'm a romantic so I think yes there's always a next time.

Good job getting to the gym - but do it for you. You are worth it. Screw those people who dont appreciate you. (Although being a senstive person might be amplifying the feelings of disappointment). Keep busy like you're doing, friends & good times will come. I'm riding out the rage & irritibility somehow. It passes but is horrible when in the midst of it.
Hope today is better.