{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Wendy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Yeah, I've got a hard road ahead of me. Don't have any other choice but to take it step by step.

I've been thinking alot about what you've said about my DIL and wanted to tell you that I understand. Things have cleared up a bit more today because I've made it a point to not talk about her but to think and feel. Yes, I know how inadequate she feels. Everybody tells her to get it together, to clean her house, to do this, do that. I thought I had done better by her by going over and doing some of the cleaning for her, by showing her shortcuts, getting her involved. She just pouts when I try to get her to do something. Her dad raised her to think that she was to be served the rest of her life and that she should surround herself with people that would do for her.

I understand that she's acting out of fear. I did too, when I was her age and had two kids. Everybody in her life tells her how and when to do everything. Her mother has even helped her clean house on occasion. I was going over every week for 2-3 days! She never got it that she was supposed to try to keep it that way. I no sooner cleaned the living room floor and she'd be using it as a waste basket again! What do you do with a person like that??

When my son asks her what she wants me to do or stop doing, all she says is "She has to get her head together." What's that supposed to mean? She won't give specifics. I'm thinking that what she wants is for me to act like her family does, to think like them. I can't do that! I've been there and had to work too hard to get better!

Ok, this is getting to be too much about me so I'm going to stop now and get back in the right frame of mind. I do understand where you're coming from, Wendy. I don't plan to do or say anything until I take care of me and "get my head together."




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>